Archbishop Chaput: Christian case for marriage is one of liberation and human dignity

A look at language — and marriage: The Christian case for marriage is one of liberation and real human dignity

How we frame our thinking about a question helps to shape the answer we arrive at. The language of a discussion is a crucial part of the discussion itself. If we don’t examine and challenge the vocabulary of a debate, we can count on losing it.

I remembered this recently while reading a local news headline that said, “Proposals target gay rights.” The story dealt with this year’s simultaneous efforts to define marriage in our state constitution, and to establish the legal status of “domestic partnerships.”

The headline was interesting. Before the first word of the first paragraph, it encouraged readers to think about the story’s content in a specific way. A story about, “Family activists voice concern,” might have led readers to view much the same information very differently.

We need to approach these issues with three simple principles.

First, the nature of marriage is a matter of common sense and long tradition, rooted in practical experience. It’s not simply a “religious” issue. Marriage as a lifelong relationship between one man and one woman exists for the benefit of children and the protection of women. Society depends on children and the way we form their lives. Emotional fulfillment is an important factor in good marriages, but that’s not the main purpose of the relationship. Marriage exists to create a supportive environment for the rearing of children and the protection of women as they mother — whether people are “religious” or not. The fact that marriages frequently fail does not change the purpose of marriage. Rather, it proves that we too often do a poor job of preparing people for what marriage really entails and supporting them in the demands of mature married life.

Second, if we’re serious about our faith — if Jesus Christ really is the “way, the truth and the life,” and the organizing principle for our lives — we need to carry our convictions into our public policy thinking. They are not just our private preferences. We should never apologize for this. If we don’t live what we believe, then what we claim to believe is empty piety. Catholics can compromise about many issues in daily political life. But we can never barter away the nature and sanctity of the human person or those institutions that nurture, form and support the human person.

The Christian case for marriage and the family is a message of liberation and real human dignity. It is not “against” anyone. It is for the happiness of human society. Any effort to reframe and misrepresent that truth needs to be vigorously challenged. We need to govern our actions toward all people with the virtues of justice, charity, mercy, wisdom and prudence. But “tolerance,” if it leads us to live a lie or compromise away the truth about human relationships, is not a virtue. It is the opposite.

Third, all persons were created by a loving God and deserve the protection of the law. Society’s legitimate, preferential treatment of marriage should never become an excuse for prejudice. Extending legal and financial benefits to persons in different kinds of non-marital relationships can make sense, depending on the circumstances. But we need to proceed with clear thought regarding the consequences. It does little good to enshrine marriage in the Colorado state constitution, on the one hand, while we legally recognize other unions that compete with it for equality.

“Marriage” as a word has meaning because of its foundational role in our understanding of family and society. It’s much more than just another voluntary emotional relationship. If we remove, or even indirectly compromise, the central role and preferential treatment of marriage in our culture, we undermine both our families and the long-term health of our society.